See what is happening
Name the patterns beneath your arguments—different “operating systems,” unspoken assumptions, scorekeeping, criticism, and defensive habits.
A guided relationship practice
The 34-Day Relationship Reboot is a structured, biblical program for Christian couples who want to stop drifting and build stronger communication, deeper connection, and healthier habits—one day at a time.
The five signposts carried through the program
These are the same five signposts shown on the program cover. The final one—Repeat—matters most for long-term marriage, because the habits you practice become the marriage you maintain.
A practice, not a pile of advice
Each day gives your spouse something specific to understand, discuss, and try. The workbook turns every lesson into a conversation and a shared commitment.
Name the patterns beneath your arguments—different “operating systems,” unspoken assumptions, scorekeeping, criticism, and defensive habits.
Use specific tools to pause, listen, translate, repair, reconnect, and hold respectful boundaries during difficult conversations.
Turn your final week into a 90-day maintenance plan with weekly meetings, shared prayer, daily connection, and a clear relapse strategy.
Two operating systems
The program helps you recognize when one partner is running primarily from honor and the other from nurture. These descriptions are broad-brush generalizations meant to open a conversation—not diagnose either of you.
Decode the distance
One of you may be trying to protect, respect, and establish safety. The other may be seeking warmth, emotional attunement, and care. Without translation, those priorities can collide.
Often looks like: keeping promises, protecting the marriage, providing, and treating your spouse with respect. It may need the language of being understood and cared for.
Often looks like: emotional closeness, tenderness, encouragement, and responsive care. It may need the language of stability, faithfulness, and being protected.
How the 34 days work
The program is built to be completed as a couple. One person watching alone will not unlock the full value. Bring the lessons to your shared table, conversation, and prayer life.
Your 15-minute rhythm
You name what is working, what is not, and where resentment or assumptions are running in the background.
You build new habits for pausing, listening, repairing, and speaking from a place of prayerful responsibility.
You replace distance with curiosity, appreciation, play, and intentional pursuit of one another.
You write your marriage dashboard, weekly rhythm, regression plan, and launch-day commitments.
Your 90-day plan protects what you built. Consistency matters more than a perfect week.
What is included
This is not only a watch-and-memorize course. The workbook gives you places to pause, write, talk, pray, agree, and track what you are practicing together.
Instant access to the complete member area: one welcome lesson, six phase overviews, and 34 daily lessons.
A digital file you can print or use on a tablet, with exercises, logs, agreements, and reflection prompts.
A calm plan for pause, confess, take responsibility, forgive freely, and reconnect—written while you are clear-headed.
A repeatable 15-minute rhythm for gratitude, check-ins, challenges, requests, planning, and prayer.
A shared commitment to participation, respectful communication, daily connection, grace after missed days, and safety.
A practical way to keep the habits alive with weekly rhythms, rituals, check-ins, and a clear focus for each 30-day period.
The complete day-by-day curriculum
Open any phase to see every lesson. The workbook supports the program, but the lessons remain easy to follow on their own.
Before you reboot
Phase 1
Phase 2
Phase 3
Phase 4
Phase 5
Phase 6
Practical tools for real conversations
Growth becomes easier when you know what to do and when to do it. The workbook gives you language, sequences, and agreements you can return to under pressure.
Covenant principle
“Do not be anxious about anything… let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6–7
Create a little distance between the stimulus and your response so your next words come from intention, not reflex.
Pause, acknowledge, take responsibility, repair, and reconnect when ordinary hurts occur.
Agree on a signal word, break length, return time, ground rules, and safety clause while you are calm.
Keep appreciation, requests, support, planning, and prayer from being lost in the noise of daily life.
Choose a realistic minimum for real connection and shared prayer so a busy week does not become disconnection.
Exchange something specific, honest, and kind, then speak a blessing to one another.
What early readers noticed
The insights I gained helped my clients create healthier communication patterns. Very well done, thank you! I thought the “hacking” and “operating system” analogies were clever.
Jessica L., Marriage Coach
Review of the companion six-lesson course
A Powerful Biblical Framework That Transforms How Couples Understand Each Other!
Frank H., Online Reviewer
Review of the companion six-lesson course
Centered on Epistle to the Ephesians 5:33, it clearly explains sacrificial love and strengthening respect in a balanced, practical way.
Lynn W., Relationship Blogger
Review of the companion six-lesson course
The practical strategies provided helped my own relationship flourish remarkably and the insights I gained helped my clients create healthier connections.
Kevin M., Marriage Coach
Review of the companion six-lesson course
It’s easy to follow, but there’s still enough depth to make you think and look at things from a different angle. It’s not just something you breeze through and forget—it actually sticks with you.
Mike C., USA
Review of the companion six-lesson course
The idea of honor and nurture as different operating systems gave me a new lens for understanding conflict. It encouraged small, intentional habits rooted in faith, reminding me that strong marriages are built through practice, humility, and daily grace.
James P., Counseling Professional
Review of the companion six-lesson course
Meet the author
Dan is a pastoral counselor and speaker based in Virginia. He is the bestselling author of the Relationship Hacking book series, a former Navy submariner and Chief Petty Officer, and has counseled couples for more than thirty years. Dan and his wife Michele have been married since 1981 and have two daughters.
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Please understand before joining
Honest answers before you begin
30-day guarantee
Not satisfied?
Get a full refund.
Try it without the lingering risk
If you are not satisfied, request a full refund within the first 30 days of your purchase. Refunds are processed promptly, no questions asked.
Your one-time investment
The program includes every lesson, the workbook, and the practical tools that make each day usable. There is no recurring subscription and no additional required purchase.
Complete curriculum
All 41 lessons in the member area
Printable workbook
Exercises, logs, and agreements
Practical tools
Repair protocol, meeting guide, and more
Instant access
Begin as soon as your purchase completes
Begin when you are ready
Your start date can be the day that works for you. The point is not to rush. The point is to stop postponing the conversations that matter.
A reasonable next step
Set aside 15 minutes for the daily lesson and conversation. Invite your spouse to decide the rhythm with you before you begin.
A marriage is built in the practices you repeat
You do not need to see the whole journey before you begin. You only need to decide that your marriage is worth the next small step.
One-time purchase: $98 USD · 30-day full-refund guarantee
Built from experience, not shortcuts
Dan is a pastoral counselor and speaker based in Virginia, the bestselling author of the Relationship Hacking book series, a former Navy submariner and Chief Petty Officer, and a husband who has been married to Michele since 1981. They have two daughters.
The 34-Day Relationship Reboot turns those decades of pastoral and counseling experience into a practical program couples can follow together, without turning their marriage into a classroom exercise.
A clear next step